


the way i loved you

by lun_a



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Exes, Flashbacks, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, idk if this is heavy angst, nah i said angst didnt i
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-17
Updated: 2021-02-17
Packaged: 2021-03-12 05:55:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,124
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29505138
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lun_a/pseuds/lun_a
Summary: It has been a year. Jihoon finds Soonyoung alone in a club drinking a sparkling soda.He did not expect this to happen, at all.
Relationships: Kwon Soonyoung | Hoshi/Lee Jihoon | Woozi
Comments: 2
Kudos: 17





	the way i loved you

**Author's Note:**

> so. i am slowly getting convinced that writing a soonhoon fic before sleeping is the most therapeutic thing i have ever done since quarantine. i am going crazy.
> 
> i wrote this at 1am after listening to fearless album the whole day. i must say, taylor swift gives me all these possible alternate universes i could write through her songs.
> 
> title (and technically the whole plot) is inspired from taylor's the way i loved you.

He knew from that hoodie and the slouched back itself who it was. He wasn't even drunk; he's a lightweight but a can of beer can only do so much to wake him up and out of his work-induced mind that he was actually trying to get rid of. Tentative steps took him to the lone figure sitting in the farthest corner table of the club. He's sure it's far and excluded enough for the rest of that club to not know what happens on that part of the place.

Instead of tapping the shoulder, he goes for the empty seat in front of the man and puts down his second unopened can of beer. The man looks up at him, a slight surprise there but also a light of expectation met in those orbs that looked bright despite the poor lighting of the club that barely reached the table.

"Jihoon," The man greets him and he softly smiles at that. He notices there weren't any alcohol on the table save for a glass of a sparkling drink that looks non-alcoholic as well. Jihoon concludes the man in front of him is not drunk at least one bit.

He offers him a slight nod, "Soonyoung."

Aside from the lack of alcohol, Jihoon dreadfully notices how the air between them is not heavy with tension considering this coincidental meet is in a club and that they are, in fact, exes. The silence was not suffocating, too. They bathe into it as they stare at each other for a good couple of minutes until Soonyoung speaks.

"What are you doing here?"

Jihoon leans back on his seat, making himself comfortable, "Trying to let loose. I have been working for a whole week and I feel— _drained_."

Soonyoung nods, and for a moment there, Jihoon almost heard in his head what the other always told him before.

_**"Can you like, try and take a break?"** Soonyoung scratches his head as he sits on the floor of Jihoon's studio._

_"I have to finish this by the end of next month. I haven't even passed through the chorus," Jihoon explains_.

_"Well, yes but Jihoon, it's only the first week of this month. Come on, I almost never see you anymore," there was a pout in his tone, and Jihoon confirmed he was right when he looked down at Soonyoung, the latter's bottom lip jutted out while scooting towards him._

_Jihoon does not pay him attention after that but he feels a finger poke his leg under his chair. He's about to ignore it the first times he felt it but on the fourth one, he glares at Soonyoung._

_"Stop it," he warns. But Soonyoung just pokes his leg again. "You're so fucking annoying."_

_He knows Soonyoung would frown at that without having to look at him. The other stands up from the floor, purposely stomping his feet as he does so and marches towards the door._

_"Just tell me you'd rather spend time with your computer than me and go," the door slams shut._

_Jihoon sighs._

_Soonyoung soon comes back with coffee and Jihoon's favorite sandwich and a sloppy peck on his left cheek. He stomps his feet like a child and slams the door shut once more when he wordlessly leaves again after that._

"You?" Jihoon asks back, "you don't go out on a weekday."

Soonyoung only smiles and says, "I was able to hire more trainors recently which is why I have lesser classes to teach and a more flexible schedule."

He runs a dance studio for four years now, if Jihoon remembers correctly. He was there when Soonyoung was only planning to put it up, and has been there from then on for every step of the way. Well, except he isn't anymore since a year ago. All he could do now is to nod, masking the swelling pride for the other with a beam that he doubts the other would even pay attention to.

"That's nice to hear. At least you won't be the only one to do choreographies and stay until sunrise."

"Yeah," Soonyoung gulps from his drink, "I share the same dancing styles with them too, so it makes the work a lot easier."

Jihoon opens his can and sips from it.

"Are you alone? Where's Seungche-"

"He's on a business trip," Jihoon cuts him off, "Those meetings are boring as fuck and only lasts for like two days so I never bothered tagging along again and waste money of plane fare."

Soonyoung chuckles, "Point taken. I bet your father is pleased about his business stuff, though?"

Jihoon points at him affirmative, "They could talk about stocks and market for hours non-stop I have to practically distract them just so they shut up."

There was a familiar and knowing look on Soonyoung's face, evident that he understands exactly was Jihoon is saying about his father. It should have been a look of indifference (he thinks), because Jihoon knows Soonyoung has never had a talk with his dad in that area of interest but the old man never fails to bring up business topics over dinner even before so there's that.

"I should be asking you, though," Jihoon changes the subject and Soonyoung only raises a brow at him, "Are you with or waiting for someone? If you are then I wouldn't tell you I'd leave because you have to introduce them to me."

There, Soonyoung laughs light-heartedly and Jihoon does too. Soonyoung shakes his head and says, "Nah, I came here alone and I'm not planning on going home with a companion."

A thought passes Jihoon's mind that is definitely not appropriate.

"You should find someone soon," Jihoon tells him seriously, "I can't be the only one always talking about Seungcheol when we meet again and catch up like this."

"I don't think it's that easy for me as much as it was for you," Soonyoung says, looking down at his palms.

Jihoon frowns at him, "It wasn't easy for me, too, you know." It was mixed with a reminding tone, Jihoon promptly picking his words to not sound offended because he shouldn't be.

"Yeah, sorry," Soonyoung smiles apologetically, "But I guess you should be prepared with more stories for a while so we could have something to talk about."

Jihoon lets out a laugh, "As if you'll not be able to come up with random stuff to ramble about, anyway."

"You're not wrong though," Soonyoung chides and gulps on his drink again, putting it back on the table half empty.

A moment of comfortable silence comes again and Jihoon watches a couple from the other side of the club looking like arguing. Their screaming at each other is muted as it does not reach their side and Jihoon, as much as he is curious, does not want to get his head into whatever they are fighting over.

He shifts his eyes at Soonyoung who's calmly bopping his head to the beat of the muffled music from the dancefloor.

_Jihoon knows he is glaring intensely at Soonyoung, his nails digging into the palm of his hands._

_The other looks equally furious at him, his breathing obviously heavier than his normal one and his occassional brushing of his hair away from his face is another proof he's annoyed._

_"Can you just apologize?" Jihoon exasperatedly asks Soonyoung. The other looks at him incredulously._

_"As if it's my fault?" Soonyoung scoffs, "Jihoon I do not even touch your equipments!"_

_Jihoon runs his hand over his face in frustration, "So my headphones broke itself, is that what you're saying?"_

_"Or maybe you had someone over who sat on it, who knows," Soonyoung deadpans and walks to their bedroom, going over the closet. Jihoon follows him with unbelieving eyes on his back._

_"It's fucking two in the morning, Soonyoung and you're accusing me of cheating? What the hell?"_

_Soonyoung pulls a hoodie and turns to Jihoon, "I meant someone as in a friend, maybe Mingyu or Seungkwan. God, Jihoon, pull you ass off your head it's not a hat."_

_At this point, Jihoon has had enough. Soonyoung pushes past him as the older puts on the hoodie in his hands, grabbed his phone, wallet and keys along the way and headed to the door of their apartment. Jihoon goes after him and shouts, "You're a goddamn asshole, Kwon!_

_"At least, I know that, Jihoon. I hope you do realize you, too, are being one right now," Soonyohng bites back while putting on whatever shoes he got._

_Jihoon scowls, "Don't show me your face again."_

_"With pleasure," Soonyoung looks straight into his eyes before opening the door and shuts it loud that Jihoon thought the wall would crack as he left._

_Three days later, Jihoon wakes up to a brand new headphones lying on the couch that he knows is more expensive than his broken one, poorly wrapped in an old newspaper (he almost threw it out thinking it was trash). There was a whisper of 'sorry' and 'I love you' in his ears followed by a ghost of a kiss on his nape that night as he drifts to sleep._

"I miss fighting with you," Jihoon suddenly blurted out.

Soonyoung snaps his head at him and laughs, "Really? You miss calling me an asshat?"

Jihoon giggles sipping on his can and puts it down on the table, "Yeah, and maybe cursing your name in the middle of the road because you did something stupid you thought I wouldn't know and ran away."

The laugh was still ghosting in Soonyoung's words as he replies, "That's a little too specific but I guess I miss riling you up, too."

It's weird, but Jihoon feels the flattered feeling im him upon knowing Soonyoung thinks the same with his sudden confession but nonetheless, he lets out a casual laugh once more.

"Where did that come from, even?" Soonyoung inquires and Jihoon points to the couple that he's looking at, still arguing in the distance.

"Oh," Soonyoung makes a face, "Don't you and Seungcheol fight, too?"

Jihoon shrugs, "We do have misunderstandings and arguments but it's not the same with you."

_"Oh,"_ For the second time, Soonyoung says then proceeds to look down on his palm again. Surprisingly, Jihoon presses on the matter more.

"Seungcheol, as much as he is energetic and childish, for most times we've fought, he'd easily end up the discussion and apologize immediately.

"He always lowers his pride for me unlike you," Soonyoung looks as Jihoon and acts offended, the latter laughs shortly. "He leaves sticky notes to apologize for the small mistakes I get mad at and not morning coffee on the table and sloppy good night kisses. He even goes as far as sending bouquet of flowers to my studio instead of just convenience store sandwiches and banana milk. He does all the things you don't and—"

Jihoon sighs. Soonyoung looks at him, patiently waiting for him to go on and he gives the former a small smile.

_He's just not you_. Jihoon wanted to say.

"—I'm just glad he's a completely different person and not an asshole like you," he finishes instead.

If Jihoon could be any better, he swears he must have caught the glimpse of hurt that passed through Soonyoung's eyes but he tells himself he's wrong when Soonyoung shook his head with a chuckle of his own. The sound was still the melody Jihoon tries to put into his music but has never found the right keys to it. Only Soonyoung can make that beautiful sound.

"Well, I am glad you truly found someone better than me?" Soonyoung says, an expectant smile on his lips waiting for Jihoon to confirm his statement.

Jihoon nods, "No offense but indeed." Both of them laugh at it as they toast their drinks.

"None taken."

He did not make it obvious but Jihoon definitely would have asked Soonyoung to get back with him had the older slipped his phone out of his pocket and told him one of his friends needs some help with their cat giving birth. Seungcheol would have been his own matter to attend to.

He chugged the remaining of his beer down, willing all the ways he loved Soonyoung that keeps on coming away from his mind.

If Soonyoung only made up that excuse about a friend needing help to leave, no one has to know. Jun's cat isn't even pregnant.

He just knows, no matter how Jihoon completes every fucking space in his life, the other should never want him back. They should be better off without each other and Soonyoung tells himself that for the nth time as he drives back to their old, once shared, apartment— which he never left.

**Author's Note:**

> well.


End file.
